Neighbours

The neighbours have been complaining about the object.

"I can see it from my kitchen window" says Mrs X "and it's just a big dumb eyesore."

Mr Y, who hangs out regularly around the back of the object points out that "apart from occasional noises and the odd trick to amuse the television crews the object isn't making a positive contribution to the neighbourhood" and wonders how long it will take the local planning department to act. "It lowers the tone" he said.

The planners, meanwhile, are biding their time. A source reports that more research needs to be done on the impact of big objects in the environment and council leaders are contemplating fact-finding missions to Cairo, New York, Ayers Rock and Machu Picchu.

There have been reports that the object has occasionally affixed what looks like an electronic facsimile of a yellow planning notice to its side. This contains blurred illegible text with the large word APPROVED stamped diagonally across.